The more I meditate the more technology seems to fail around me.

A shepherd narrative.

Funny that while meditating, one's posture spontaneously improves. Is it like a body reaction to relaxation? I suppose slumping over is an expression of extreme stress and once you start relaxing everything naturally straightens up. Also interesting is the more yoga I am doing the more my bones will pop, which I always thought was an expression of stress, but when I am not doing yoga very little pops. No yoga=stasis? Popping=life!

Also had a dream while halfway listening to NPR, there was a story that all the infrastructures of the nation have gone to shit, bridges are collapsing left and right, and we need to start coming up with a plan (not verbatim, possibly only in the dream) because the longer you wait the more expensive it will be to fix. The word infrastructures invariably makes me start thinking of my spine and the frame of my body, which brings me back to my posture. I suppose meditation is a sort of repair work. (Lame compositional device, I know, but it just seemed to spontaneously come about, like improved posture during meditation, oh there I go again!)

I'd been wondering why when you do a lot of sitting meditation, it always brings up horrible latent emotions, that I suppose is good, because they are repressed, and you should look at them, but it is horribly painful, yet yoga just seems to clear all the icky emotions away and leave you clear, and how come it is so easy? Apparently, I just wasn't doing enough yoga. I went to yoga 3 days in a row last week, took the fourth day off, and then went again on the fifth day and got a horrible injury doing my first push-up pose. I think yoga pushes all the icky emotions stuff into your body somehow. I don't know which one is worse, but I think I'd rather be physically incapacitated more than emotionally... I guess it's got to come out one way or another. Or you could just keep it repressed, but then you become a politician or something.

Fatigue

A dream about a black dog with the cutest black nose ever, and I hugged him, I love black dogs, and then all the sudden he is ginger colored, but not Ginger, and I'm like But you were a black dog a minute ago, and the dog was like No, I've always been ginger colored.

The thing where you think you see someone you know, but then they are not that person at all, over and over again, and that other thing where you expect to be doing that with someone, but for some reason don't.

UNICORN ORPHAN

My right hand bleeding in three different spots.

Inability to close my blinds, so I sleep staring at the tree outside, which looks just like some sort of Very Tall Gargoyle.

Dream of finding a salve for my itchy head and rubbing it all over my head.

A complete noninterest in fungi.

David Bowie.

A new yellow notebook.

I am curious, too.

Wondering how to have a more complete nervous breakdown.

The assortment of piles.

When cigarettes made you more attractive.

Unnoticed broken glass at the edges of trees.

Just a minute, I have to walk my Unicorn.

Midway in our life's journey

How strange and deeply symbolic that it is not until my 35th year that I commence reading Dante's Inferno.

Having got lost in the Oracle maze.

I think my knee chakras are opening. Or, early-onset arthritis.

I am reading The Fast by Hannah Weiner. I am feeling this way about sugar lately. Extremely painful.

Ten commas

Numerical symbolism symbolizes symmetry.

When I, bizarrely, saw a guy with a watering hose, today, in financial district, watering a plant, that I had never noticed before, I knew, and it had.

I dreamt I got a white kitten, and I named her Lulu...

Trying to rid myself of phlegmishness through diet, would mean what?

I am searching the web for acrostics.

I am lacking a parenthetical.

Halfway to 70

Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70Halfway to 70

Dreamt last night that I found a hollowed out part of one of the tiles in the bathroom, and I knew that was where my dead father was buried and I would have to get him out. Or, he was buried wrong somehow, and I had to correct it. So I started somehow loosening the tile, or digging up the tile, which made the bathtub stop up or somehow started bringing up all kinds of nasty things from the sewer, mounds and mounds of hair started coming up and oh, what have I done to the pipes?

Dream dialog:

"I too was quite tall until the doctor seized my throat."

quotes

"We're so diminished we have ourselves left and now we've disappeared." --Robin Blaser

"I should expect nothing more from life than what fate has already given me." --Ales Debeljak

"that hour exists no matter what I do" --overheard on the street

The man in front of me at the post office today had four pennies inside his ear. Home remedy for hearing loss? Just in case?


And then at the cafe, a woman in purple glasses, listening to a walkie talkie, "10-4," and laughing, everytime I looked up at her, she had a look on her face, like she was about to orgasm.

I am clearly way too sane.

"your path is poetry, your goal is beyond
poetry" --Robin Blaser