Sunday, March 04, 2012

At the beginning of primary series this morning, maybe because there were a lot of new people, but it was totally chaotic, from the beginning no one was waiting for teacher to tell us to jump up or whatever, they were all just doing it on there own, and it seemed not the time for doing it on your own, and like I wondered if teacher felt like he'd lost control or was losing control of the class, but of course he just went with it and said you are your own teacher, awesome. Then I started thinking how awesome chaos is, and accepting it and going with the flow is one of those scary zen things that you get to face in yoga. Scary only second to Bhuja Pindasana, don't know why that one scares me more than handstand right now.

But thinking about chaos and losing control and allowing it and seeing where it takes you, contrasted with the extreme discipline of otherwise, and how another teacher once said never get ahead of the yogi next to you and stay in sync, which is sweet and communal, and takes you out of ego, but also can be somewhat militaristic and overly disciplined. Think maybe in the beginning when you are building up prana energy and so forth it is better to have the discipline way or it will just get scattered, but after a certain while, once you do have a lot of prana/kundalini energy, I think that can be repressive and too much of a constraint, next level is CHAOS! And how awesome to just open that energy up into the unknown, that is where the creative takes place.