Saturday, April 21, 2007

possibility of the possible

I am happy at any moment in time in which I have a notebook open with a pen (moving).

Reading Derrida's very cool Aporias.

I like point 2 (re:death?) a lot: "As long as the waiting can only be directed toward some other and toward some arrivant, one can and must wait for something else, hence expect some other — as when one is said to expect that something will happen or that some other will arrive. In both cases the awaiting onself and the expecting or the expecting-that can have a notable relation to death, to what is called — death (it is there, and maybe only there, that one ultimately awaits oneself or expects, that one expects that; and it is only there that the awaiting oneself may be no other than the expecting the other, or that the other may arrive)." French omitted, as I don't understand anyway...

We are all waiting for death, what else is really going to happen after all? Death as the other that we will finally, eventually meet.

I love typing up a Derrida quote and listening to the rain. This is a great moment.

There is another bit a little further down that really tripped my brain out. I've been thinking about it all day: "...the one is waiting for the other there, for the one and the other never arrive there together, at this rendezvouz...and the one who waits for the other there, at this border, is not he who arrives there first or she who gets there first. In order to wait for the other at this meeting place, one must, on the contrary, arrive there late, not early."

What waits for the other is also what must come late. Seems so contradictory, but only sorta kinda makes sense if you think of this other as literally death. Of course it is waiting for us, and of course it comes at the latest possible moment. Sortof comforting.

All this, speaking of death, and that which comes, to tell about my vision of a disembodied shrunken head woman.

Don't know what that means but perhaps I am feeling like my current life experiences are shrinking me, my soul is getting tiny tiny tiny. Also, head shrinking may mean I need a head shrink! haha! There was another, almost simultaneous vision of a grizzly haired werewolf looking guy. Which seems related as they are both representatives of the primal perhaps. But can't figure out much more than that.

What kind of word is "ipseity"? quite latinate, I suppose.

the ancient belief that the dead are not dead, or are not quite dead.