Saturday, May 31, 2014

Heart's Desire with Jerome Rothenberg January 25, 2014

Art is junk.
Dream can't save the dying
opens to sing but freezes shut.
They took me from the white sun
and put me in the black sun.
Down here the rain falls upside down,
emotions roll between the palms.
I reached between my legs & I wallowed.
Where sunlight makes the world grow darker.
Beat the moon with oars the way I do.
The bowels shem-shaun/
It is as if nothing happened.
The feat & the subsequent refusal of the fear.
The times are never right.
The days are never right.
My heart is never right.
There is no truth to time.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Hearts Desire Reading: Cassandra Gillip, Nathaniel Ottig, Andrew Kenower 1-19-14


Die fucking. I can't tonight.
Every poem has its 20th of January.
I'm so sick of these crows.
Redundancy doesn't comfort me.
Just as complicated as I remember love to be.
Smallest little JK.
Lemonade is not infinite.


Everyone's drunk on schedule.
What's an accent.
Aquatic death spiral.
In the fact of my gigantic error.
The chimes of rabies are ringing again.
Sleep without dreams.
The non recuperative rest that is passing out.
I tapped my meridians to see if my body was there.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Andrea Abi-Karam, Carlos Soto Román, and Lara Durback at Woolsey Heights 1/18/14


The age old other.
Caged bees must remember how to fly.
I've never seen bay area rain on the windows
She did not want to jump.
I thought you should bleed more.
The feeling that comes from smashing something.
The feeling that comes from surviving together.
The exit wound is always larger
when you forget the beginning
of the imminent open end


House as puzzle.
A house without a body is a puzzle.
Absence is such a transparent house.
The stream that occurs between the silence
isolated signs of the inevitable.


Happiness is needed right here -- Aaron Begg
There's something bad about sitting in the back.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

"Go deep or go home." #Asta

Surface yoga practices. Sometimes you've got to be surface though before you can get to the deep places, you have to practice on the surface. Had so many morning pains in my body this morning, I could barely lean over, hips hurt, lower back hurt, until around the middle of the practice I finally started getting a flow and could actually go a little deeper. But also a nice metaphor for living a surface material life, and how that *may* attract certain types of people to yoga, but that is not what it is about, but maybe for some it could be a bridge toward deeper living. Do the surface stuff first if you have to, but don't stay there. (And don't go home.) (Or maybe go home and meditate.)

Also, tangentially related, I came home instead of eating out, and made a sandwich and sat meditation for a bit. The whole time while I was meditating I could hear this guy out on the sidewalk yelling; he had this contraption he had made that was falling apart and he couldn't figure out what to do, its base was a wheelchair and he had all this stuff piled on top of it, which kept falling off. As I was meditating I could hear him yelling out occasionally, and thought about all the silly stuff I get frustrated about in life, and how (maybe) if you are meditating more you will be happier and more peaceful, even though it doesn't really seem like just sitting will make you peaceful, it does happen. Also thinking about this common thought I've had for years, that might be much more complicated than I'm making it, like hello mental illness, but that with all the time they have, homeless people could use it to meditate, what would happen if they meditated 12 hours a day, and all the shit going on around them would become less foreground, and move to the background... And that if I'm thinking that about homeless people, what about my life is so easy if I just do it? Less Facebook more meditation, more writing. Use time better. Or go home.