All quoted words from the forthcoming The Incompossible from Black Radish books

“Opinions”
“All tropes are clouds.”
“it”
“it”
“the general?”
“pre-existence”
“among.”
“if.”
“Being”
“He wouldn’t actually drive the saucer.”
“without.”
“pretend”
“Nightmare-Heaven.”
“See, she’s a witch.”
“natural”
“left”
“two.”
“Apprehend”
“Temporary Ravine”
“I feel like I’m in a movie.”
“beginning.”
“I know she’s lying.”
"You must change the form of your practice."

Thinking about how if the life force comes from mulabhanda, and when on our periods, our energy is completely churning away in that area, then maybe it is not a curse at all, but makes us luckier? So I've been trying to turn my cramp pain into kundalini bliss all day. It kind of works if I concentrate really, really hard. But I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up. Definitely need a nap. Also, finally agree not to do inversions, because my period has been lasting 7 days instead of 5 lately, and ew. I guess they're right about that.

Reading the third translation of Patanjali that I've read. The first one was translated by Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher Isherwood, one of my teachers was reading it so I read it, the second one was translated by Chip Hartranft, I don't think I liked this one because I thought it was "too easy" and "armchair enlightenment." (This is what I said on goodreads.)So now I am reading Sri S. Satchidananda's translation. This is the one, the cover I see most people have if I see people with a Patanjali. I also checked out the Mircea Eliade book on Patanjali, a more historical study.

Had the thought in the middle of a rather intense yoga class, or regular yoga class, but I was doing it intensely, that Ashtanga is a form of shamanism. Like we are out in the desert on a vision quest, haven't slept for 36 hours, are tripping on some weird-ass drug, and there is some nut there trying to lead us through it. Funny, people who are drawn to meditation and yoga because of the "relaxation" thing, they don't know, and I think I was one of them initially, that it has to take you through hell first. It is not ease, confronting the self. And even if you don't think that is what you are doing, it tricks it out of you, and it becomes what you are doing. The people who can't handle it are the ones that drop out, or go sporadically. I don't know that I am actually confronting the self, I think I am starting to, and in the past the confronting the self thing made me evasive within my own practice. I am still evasive but becoming more aware of what I am doing, and so evading less, I think.

When I'm feeling "unglamorous" sweater totally lopsided and no possibility to ever right it, scoliosis apparent, like I'm the hunchback of notre dame, right foot dragging behind me, I remember I'm a poet, I'm supposed to be fucked up, and I feel better.

Bought a book from a former classmate at new college on the $1 rack outside modern times. Should I tell him or not??? I'd read it from the library so I'm actually happy I actually own it now. also bought some 70's paperback for the cover. (Something about her wicked wicked ways) Thinking of my upcycling next and last dusie chap. Not sure if it will match the project I'm thinking of though.

Tea is cheaper than coffee, generally nowadays. Poets are all going to become tea drinkers. Coffee is for yuppies.

Confused about kundalini vs chi. Are they working at cross purposes? I'm not sure but I think kundalini coming up from the sex, at least in women, is inner inner even more inside than inside, whereas chi moments in acupuncture, seem to be entirely on the surface of the skin, or even hovering slightly outside, like an aura. So maybe they are complementary. Though I realize one comes from China and one from India...?

Thank you Veterans for giving me a day off.

I realized that I'm so uninterested in this construct continually dug up by other people in which "lyric" is split off and set up against "experiment." I can't even be bothered to protest it, for protest would just give it credence, in a way. I am interested in the signature and the mouth and throat. I am interested in how ear and throat receive language.

--Erin Moure